


one look and my heartbeat stops

by blackkat



Series: Jon Antilles prompts [4]
Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friendship, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:14:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25617922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackkat/pseuds/blackkat
Summary: Rex puts the phone down, stiff with horror, and Ahsokahowls.“No,” Rex says blankly. “No, don’t youdarelaugh at me—”
Relationships: Barriss Offee/Ahsoka Tano, CT-7567 | Rex & Ahsoka Tano, Jon Antilles/CT-7567 | Rex
Series: Jon Antilles prompts [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1941646
Comments: 28
Kudos: 605





	one look and my heartbeat stops

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt: Rex/Jon fake dating au “I told my family I had a boyfriend to get them off my back but now they want to meet him”

Rex puts the phone down, stiff with horror, and Ahsoka _howls_.

“No,” Rex says blankly. “No, don’t you _dare_ laugh at me—”

Ahsoka wheezes, dropping her head to the top of the picnic table as she tries to choke off her laughter. It just makes it sound _worse_ , though, and Rex groans, dropping his phone with a clatter to bury his face in his hands.

“ _Ahsoka_ ,” he complains, potentially more plaintive than he intends it to be. “Ahsoka, stop—”

“They _believed_ you,” she wheezes. “They _actually believed you have a boyfriend_ —”

“I could have a boyfriend if I wanted to!”

“—but you _don’t,_ and now you're going to have to _bring him to Friday dinner_ —”

Rex groans louder, tilting forward to bang his head against the tabletop a few times. “I _am_ ,” he says in horror. “Damn it, I promised _Wolffe_. If I show up without a date, he’s going to _kill me_.”

Ahsoka is still giggling so hard she can hardly speak, but she pats Rex on the arm. It would probably be more comforting, Rex thinks with resignation, if she wasn’t a _high school student_ who’s already had more dating luck than Rex has managed in his _life_.

“Hire an escort?” Ahsoka manages, and promptly dissolves into laughter again.

“Yeah, go on, laugh at my pain,” Rex says, resigned. He scrubs a hand through his hair, catches himself actually considering the escort idea, and mutters a curse at himself and Ahsoka equally. “Are you done with that problem set yet?”

Snickering, Ahsoka pushes her notebook across the table. “I can't believe they _believed you_.”

“It’s not _that_ impossible that I could have a boyfriend,” Rex protests, checking her math over. “I've had boyfriends before!”

“Not in the last six years,” Ahsoka says pityingly, and Rex wishes he could protest but _can't_ , because that’s factually correct. There have been a few one-offs, but…nothing long-term. Not in a _very_ long while.

Maybe Cody and Wolffe bullying him about bringing his supposed boyfriend to Friday dinner isn't all that surprising, in light of that.

“They’re both the _worst_ ,” Rex mutters, and pushes the notebook back. “You forgot the negative sign on the second to last one, but that’s a you error, not a math error. Feeling better about your test?”

“I did? Drat.” Ahsoka leans over the paper, frowning, and spitefully marks down the symbol. “Well, I _was_.”

“Just take your time and don’t spend the last ten minutes laughing at your teacher,” Rex says, maybe a little pointedly.

“Oh, I wouldn’t,” Ahsoka answers breezily, and smirks at him. “My teacher doesn’t lie to their family about an imaginary boyfriend and then get ordered to bring him to the family dinner.”

Rex groans loudly, dropping his face into his folded arms. “They're going to _murder_ me,” he complains. “Or worse, they're going to _pity_ me.”

“Pity,” Ahsoka says without pause. “Definitely pity.”

Rex loves Ahsoka, but he would happily push her into the lake right now. “What am I going to do? If I say we broke up in the twenty-four hours between now and then, they're going to _know_.”

“They’ll probably know anyway,” Ahsoka says cheerfully. “You get that, right? Even if you hire an escort, you’re going to be out of luck. It has to be someone you actually _like_.”

This, Rex thinks with resignation, is why he needs more friends. Most of his social circle consists of the extended Fett family, Ahsoka and her girlfriend, and Anakin. Potentially Rex _could_ ask Anakin, but—well. Even he has too much pride for _that_.

“I could fake my death,” he says, because that honestly seems like the most reasonable option right now. “I could fake my death and move to Naboo, and no one would ever have to find out I lied about having a boyfriend.”

“You lied about what?” a voice asks, bemused, and Ahsoka snickers as she pushes to her feet.

“Having a boyfriend,” she tells Barriss, and throws herself at the other girl, who laughs and catches her in a hug. Rex scowls at the tabletop, very pointedly not looking at them. they're disgustingly adorable. It’s not _fair_. If he had half the game Ahsoka does, this wouldn’t be a problem.

“That’s a very specific lie,” Barriss says, and giggles as Ahsoka drops down on the bench again, pulling Barriss into her lap. “Ahsoka!”

“I missed you,” Ahsoka says, unrepentant.

“It’s only been two hours.” Barriss’s expression is soft as she strokes Ahsoka's cornrows. The blue in them matches the blue of Barriss’s favorite hijab. It’s _terribly_ cute. Rex is very aggravated by how cute it is.

“What does that have to do with anything?” Ahsoka asks cheekily, and presses her cheek against Barriss’s shoulder. “Rex, just man up and tell them it was a lie. It won't be _that_ bad.”

“No, it will be _worse_ ,” Rex mutters, but waves a hand at her. “Any other questions?”

“No, I think I understand now. Thanks, Rex.” Ahsoka beams at him.

Rex doesn’t trust that expression _at all_. He frowns at her suspiciously, drawing back, and asks defensively, “What?”

“Ahsoka?” Barriss asks, and it’s very validating that she sounds equally concerned.

Deftly, Ahsoka slides Barriss off her lap, then bounces to her feet. “You just need a boyfriend for one night, right?” she asks Rex. “After that you can say you broke up.”

“Ahsoka,” Rex starts warningly.

Ahsoka grins at him, all mayhem, and turns. Lunges like a predator, and before Rex can even open his mouth to yell at her she’s grabbing the closest passerby by the arm.

“Oh no,” Barriss says, and presses her hands over her mouth to hide her laughter.

“Hi!” Ahsoka says brightly, hauling the poor bystander around as he jerks and spins. “Hi, sorry, just a quick question, are you busy on Friday evening?”

“ _Ahsoka_ ,” Rex says, horrified.

The man she’s accosting, tall and almost completely hidden by his patched, oversized coat and deep hood, blinks at Ahsoka. “No?” he ventures, definitely closer to a question than a firm response.

“Great!” Ahsoka says, and hauls him off the path and back towards their table. “Rex needs a date to throw off the hounds. You’ll get free dinner!”

“Ahsoka, _no_ —”

“Is someone…stalking you?” the man asks quietly, and his hood turns towards Rex a little.

“ _No_. No, nothing like that, it’s _fine_ ,” Rex says. “Just—my family.” he tries to find a way to phrase things that doesn’t make him sound incredibly pathetic, and then gives up with a groan. At least the guy Ahsoka manhandled can have a good laugh for the trouble. “I told them I have a boyfriend, and now they want to meet him.”

“And he _doesn’t_ ,” Ahsoka says, grinning, like that point needs to be emphasized. When Rex shoots her a dirty look, she raises her hands in self-defense. “What?”

“Go away,” Rex tells her. “Good luck on your test, stop harassing strangers. _Go_.”

Laughing, Ahsoka gathers up her bag, then grabs Barriss’s hand. “Later, Rex,” she says cheerfully. “Later, fake boyfriend!”

With a groan, Rex throws a pen after her, but she dodges it and picks up a run, both her and Barriss giggling. Rex hates them _both_.

“I'm so sorry,” he tells the stranger earnestly. “ _Very_ sorry. I had no idea she’d go that far with the joke.”

“That’s all right,” the man says, still soft. He hesitates, one hand wrapped around the strap of his messenger bag, then says carefully, “You could…try a dating service?”

Rex sighs, sinking back down to the bench and scrubbing a hand over his hair. “Dinner’s _tomorrow_ ,” he says. “Or I would. Know any escorts that I can book on short notice?”

The man pauses for a long moment, then sinks down on the other end of the bench, setting his bag at his feet. “Not male,” he says, a touch of humor in his voice. “I assume since you said boyfriend specifically…”

Rex shoots him a slightly startled look.

The man chokes. “Not for _me_ ,” he protests. “I don’t—my friend sometimes works as a high-class escort, I know some of the people she’s friends with.”

“Oh,” Rex says, a little relieved. He’d been hoping Ahsoka hadn’t grabbed a creep or something. “Yeah, a man is…the best choice. They won't believe anything else. Not as easily, at least.”

For a moment, the stranger doesn’t say anything. Then, careful, he asks, “Is it…a situation where you're _required_ to bring a partner?”

Rex snorts. “Only on pain of eternal mocking,” he says dryly. “I have brothers. A lot of them.”

“Oh.” The word sounds relieved, and the man tilts his head. Rex can just catch a hint of the shape of his mouth as it curves, and he says, “If those are the stakes, I really am free on Friday.”

Rex freezes, staring. Opens his mouth, but can't find words for a long moment, and closes it again. Finally, voice cracking, he demands, “ _Really_? But—you don’t know me, _or_ my family—”

That just gets him a half-shrug, and the man glances away. “You need help,” he says softly. “I don’t mind. It’s just for one night.”

“Maybe two,” Rex warns. “They’ll be _unbearable_ if you only turn up for one Friday dinner. I mean. If you're really willing.”

There's a soft snort, and the man tugs up his patched sleeves a little. “I'm Jon,” he says, a touch dryly. “Maybe we should start with that.”

“Rex,” Rex returns, grinning. “Good point. It’s—just a family dinner, but there are a lot of us. And it gets hectic.”

“That’s all right,” Jon says, a little rueful. “My friends are…very energetic. I can handle that.” He reaches up, pushing his hood back—

Oh no. Rex can't. Rex can't handle this. Not at _all_.

“Oh,” Jon says, self-conscious, and rubs at some of the scars on his face. “I forgot. Sorry. Too much?”

 _Your cheekbones? Absolutely_ , Rex wants to say. Rex does _not_ say, because he is a grown man in control of his own mouth.

“No, not at all,” he says. “I just didn’t think you were so pretty.”

…Kind of in control of his own mouth.

Jon flushes even as Rex does the same. He ducks his head to hide behind his black hair, and tugs a little at the edge of his hood like he’s about to pull it up over his face. “You don’t—as long as I won't scare anyone,” he says carefully, and Rex kind of wants to reach out and grab his hand. He doesn’t, though.

The fact that he wants to is already unnerving enough. He and Jon are going to have to pretend to be _dating_. To have _been_ dating. To be in the honeymoon phase of dating, even. And knowing his family, there’s going to be at _least_ one asshole questioning them about their sex lives.

“You won't,” Rex says, and is absolutely certain of it. Jon's not classically handsome, but Rex might have to beat certain brothers off with a stick. “But, uh. We’ll have to be. Handsy. And maybe kiss. Is that too much?”

He isn't entirely sure whether he wants Jon to say yes or no right now.

“That’s fine,” Jon says, still a little red, but he casts Rex a quick smile. It warms his whole face, makes his blue eyes crinkle just a bit. “I'm happy to help.”

This, Rex thinks, swallowing, is going to be a hell of a night. He’s not ready at _all_.


End file.
